National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month

I used to shrug these sort of things off -- now it seems ironic.  

Ironic that I have lived (and survived!) EVERY facet of Domestic Violence.  

I will no doubt be writing much more on the subject in the future. 

But, for now, I want to implore you who are where I used to think I was...

Pause for a moment... 

it is guaranteed that each of you know AT LEAST

one couple/man/woman who is either currently in, or has been in, an abusive relationship.

I am asked many questions by others.

The top two I want to encourage you all to think about today is :

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

HOW CAN YOU HELP??

Here are some articles that I recommend:

• http://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/

https://plus.google.com/collection/Yy46GE

(above is a collection I put random articles in which I identify with and which pertain to this subject)

• I also recommend you know where your local help is found - shelters, counselors, etc.

For me, an agency called the Crystal Judson Family Justice Center here in Tacoma, WA helped me immensely.  

As did counselors who recognized the severity of the situation even before I did.  

At the beginning, only a small handful of close friends were privy to the abuse I was FINALLY acknowledging and confronting.  

Of that "handful," only a few believed me.  

And I am FOREVER thankful for them!!! (YOU know who you are! )

It is because of this small support team I was directed to get help.  

I would never had known what to do on my own... never.

I would never have been able to withstand the pressure to stay.

(Please note, the term "pressure" can be swapped with "abuse.")

Pressure from my Abuser.  

Pressure from my family.  

Pressure from "my church."

Pressure from my "friends." 

And even pressure from myself 

(being embarrassed and afraid of what others would say if they knew the truth)

.... and I would likely have stayed without help... to my death.

(And at the cost of my children's lives too.)

Never underestimate the strength one friend beside a person can give -- be that friend!

Stay tuned!!

2018 will hold many more writings on this subject, in hopes of helping people in these sort of relationships, people trying to get out, and friends/family wanting to help!

"The Struggle"

This was an image the Lord burned into my spirit many years back.  

As I've grown and the years have ticked by, 

it's taken on different meanings to me.  

I used to say -- 
"If I could paint ... I would paint that".  

It's been bugging me lately.  I suppose I can liken it to a cleansing... 

I just needed to get it out.

It's the kind of thing that evokes a lot of emotion.  And, everybody who sees it has a different opinion and interpretation.  

None are wrong!

Here you go!
... "The Struggle" ...

I Have Seen

I'm now coming upon about a year since my husband violently attacked me, me waking up out of co-dependence, and forcing a separation from him through a court-ordered Protection Order.  

It was the thing of nightmares for me.  

However, in the awakening - in the honest look and admittance of the truth of my life and the masterfully manipulating abuser I was married to, there were other things I've seen that I want to document.

The Book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible actually resonates at an entire different level to me now... the listings of what he has observed.  Likewise, I have seen many things with fresh eyes over the past year, and I'd love to share a few of those with you.

I have seen...

I have seen ears - shut

I have seen eyes - blinded

I have seen the compassionate become the oppressed

I have seen love abused

I have seen institutions crumble from the cancer they bred

I have seen scriptures twisted to fit needs

I have seen whole families suffer at the hands of a trusted one 

I have seen otherwise good men adopt lies 

I have seen evil slither through a community like a serpent on the hunt - consuming

I have seen perversion quietly put aside - too appalling for leaders to address

I have seen entrusted men intoxicate themselves with the control it gives
I have seen true ugliness from those the community looks to for beauty

I have seen once meaningful friends betray the sacredness of the mothers' circle of trust

I have seen friends twist trust into lies and aim to injure

I have seen the gossip confronted and cry out in anger 

    - only to evolve more cruel than before
I have seen wicked men speak with such effluence, even Shakespeare himself would be wooed 

I have seen evil shed innocent blood without a hint of remorse - only great satisfaction

I have seen wickedness actively recruit the complacent and non discerning

I have seen insurmountable armies mount up from every side and engage the innocent - 

    - with one aim - to destroy

I have seen bullies in every shape, size, age, gender, and race fight each other for ranking

I have seen the influence the wicked have over the weak

I have seen systems intended to help the needy- exploited

I have seen children made fatherless

I have seen fear root itself deeply into the hearts of people

I have seen darkness overcome the Light

I have seen betrayal

I have seen thieves prosper

I have seen criminals lauded and idolized

I have seen the waves of the high tide destroy 

... and cleanse ...

... I know for certain, the high tide will not last forever...

I have seen blind eyes - SEE

I have seen deaf ears - HEAR

I have seen paths made where there were none before

I have seen rest given to the pure in heart

I have seen love stand in the face of fear
I have seen the value of true friendship

I have seen the sunrise in the darkest of seasons

I have seen the very miracle that was begged for - found in the querier themselves

I have seen as never before - the love of sisters

I have seen the oppressed in unexplainable peace and joy - despite pain
I have seen beauty in the broken

I have seen the wounded tended to and cared for by the unexpected

I have seen honesty in deep pain bring healing

...I have seen the very tide that destroys, the very wave that comes as a destructive squall

      - suddenly come to a complete stop.  Peace

Her Tree

This past year, my daughter was introduced to poetry.

She wrote a poem based on my tree painting 

(I wrote about here)  

For me, it was a self portrait of sorts... 

and, without me even knowing, she wrote this poem to go with it.  

This was her interpretation of my painting...

 I think it's pretty amazing. 

(I think SHE'S pretty amazing!) 

She gave me permission to share it with you here.  💓

                    Her Forest

Her forest was gone

Her world was destroyed 

She didn’t know what to do

Her friends were all lies 

Her friends ware all spies

To make sure she followed the rules

Those who she thought cared left her

Those who she thought wrong embraced her

Her world had burned up before her

But the rain fell as it always did 

To wash the ash away

To wash the fear away

To wash the doubt away

Her forest was gone

Her world was destroyed

But she was not confused

She now knew what to do

She may be burnt

But she’s not destroyed

No matter what they might think

No matter what they might say

She will stand for another day

The Interlude

I have a few things that have bumping around my head to write on.  

It's super fun - I find I'm seeing things differently now, and it's fun to get to communicate those things with you all!!

But, this week I took a break and painted another picture. 

This painting will be a gift.  

The Lord has planted me in a home on a lake.  

It's nice!  

But what is my favorite thing is the sunrises.   

I face due East and am treated often to the beauty of the sun rising over Mount Rainier. 

It is breath-taking.

Thing is, we don't see them very often.  In the summer, the sun is rising around 4/5am- ish ... and I am asleep.  In the winter (where the most colorful sunrises are), we rarely even SEE the sun.  

I live in the Pacific Northwest ... this year in particular has been DARK.  And It's not just ME!  We've actually broken all sorts of records for rainfall and gray skies.  

I chose to paint one of the sunrises we had here a little while back... well at least my take on it.

For years, these beautiful sunrises would lift my spirits early in the mornings as I got the children ready for school, prayed with them and read  with them.  Often, my nights were long -- caring for a child with nightmares or a sick child.  Mornings came FAST -💓 

...Keeping it simple with the signature